New Year Resolutions: 2016 Edition!
It’s funny how quickly a year seems to fly by. 2015 was a year of ups and downs for many; a new year is seen as a fresh start by the majority of people and therefore new year resolutions appear to be everywhere. There seems to be a lot of criticism online for the ‘new year, new me’ philosophy this year which can only be a good thing; surely everyone now realises that completely changing your lifestyle is not exactly easy to keep up!
I uploaded a video on my 2016 resolutions which you can watch HERE. Before shooting the video, I watched my video from last year so that I could assess my success over the past 12 months. It wasn’t a complete disaster; in 2015 I decided that I was going to do more things that make me happy. It could be argued that by going back to college and spending more time on creative projects, I’m definitely a lot happier – I don’t feel as restricted as I did when I was working full-time in the least creative environment you could possibly think of. Although I still work 2 days a week (a girl has to live!) and although the frustrations I experienced before are still there, I only have to deal with them for a day at a time, and the rest of my time is focused on other things. That being said, I did also plan to get fit by going to classes that I enjoy and by playing my Wii, as well as spending more time relaxing by playing video games, reading and watching movies or TV. None of that really happened!
When I made those resolutions, I didn’t have college coursework to contend with. I also hate feeling as though I’m not being productive. So trying to fit in ‘me time’ in amongst work and college and studying and making videos and blogging (I fully admit there wasn’t as much blogging as I’d hoped last year!) proved rather difficult. So this year, I’ve gone for the adapted version – do more things that make me happy, and GET ORGANISED.
I’ve been looking for a planner for ages. I can’t find one I like. Some of you might recall that I bought a diary last year. I never used it! I did what I do every year – I fill in everyone’s birthday in January together with the gig dates I’ve got lined up for the year, before throwing it in a corner and forgetting everyone’s birthdays and repeatedly freaking out because I think I’ve missed a show. Ironically, I think I need to schedule some time to sit online and just look properly for one (at the same time, I’m also on the lookout for a massive makeup organiser!)
I’ve tried using apps, I’ve tried forward planning, but nothing seems to work. I need a big shiny planner that has EVERYTHING in it. Ideally I want one with enough space to put my video and blog post ideas. They’re currently in a huge Frozen notepad my friend Laura got me for my birthday last year, which I love, but I need somewhere to scribble notes on the go as well. Throw in all my college deadlines, hair appointments and other bits and bobs, and it’s no wonder I feel so disorganised! If I can sort my life out, I feel as though I’ll spend less time stressing about what I need to do – I’ll actually get it done, then have a night free to chill. A free night? What the hell does that feel like?!
Being happy is something that a lot of people take for granted. And the past couple of years have taught me that it’s extremely important to do what you need to in order to be happy (or as happy as you can be in a particular situation). They’ve also taught me how important it is to appreciate the little things that make you smile. A good friend said to me just after midnight on New Year’s Day that for the past year, she had been writing down good things that had happened to her on scraps of paper, no matter how small or trivial they might seem to anyone else. She put them all in a little jar and then at New Year, she opened the jar and read them all to help her remember all of the good things that she might have otherwise forgotten about. One of those scraps was a photoshoot we did together not long after we met. I genuinely felt so touched that she’d included that. I did say I was going to do the same thing, but as yet, no jar! That being said, I feel as though I’ve been much more appreciative of the little things in life, from just lying in bed listening to music before going to sleep or receiving a really nice text from a friend when I’m having an off day. Those little things can make you smile so much when you’re not feeling at your best.
The other resolution I mentioned in my video is to improve my diabetes control. Diabetes and I don’t really get along very well; technically it’s not me and the condition that don’t get on, it’s me and the consultants. I can be very stubborn and I don’t react well when I feel as though I’m not being listened to, especially when it concerns my body. Quite a few consultants have found that out the hard way. I’ve also had consultants make assumptions about me, which hasn’t gone down well either. When I was 16 years old and hospitalised following a stomach bug, my consultant implied that I had an eating disorder because I was vomiting. If I had had the strength at the time, I’d probably have flown at him.
But, I digress! I had yet another disagreement with a consultant when I attended my review appointment around 6 months ago; my control had worsened ever so slightly from the year before, although nowhere near as bad as it had been previously (I can’t emphasise that enough; my control used to be so bad it was literally off their chart). I explained the reasons that I thought may have caused the problem; he latched onto one thing that I said and decided that I didn’t know how to control my diabetes and that I needed help from a nurse and a dietitian. He also wanted to change the way I take my insulin in a way that I wasn’t comfortable with; when I explained my reasoning, he was dismissive, even he even listened at all. I won’t lie, I rarely leave that building in a good mood; however that day I genuinely wished I owned a punchbag. I felt so angry, yet so disappointed that my control was so bad. Turns out he had it all wrong; I went back 3 months later to see the nurse and dietitian that he was desperate for me to see, armed with my food diaries and records of my sugar levels. Both the dietitian and the nurse agreed that he had overreacted completely – my control wasn’t terrible, in fact it’s not that far off being pretty good. My diet isn’t appalling, I just need to be careful with the times I eat. I felt a lot better, and I felt motivated to keep a really close eye on things to improve my control even more.
But, as always happens with me, the motivation goes pretty quickly. Diabetes is something I’ve always tended to brush under the carpet and almost pretend it doesn’t exist; loads of my friends don’t even know I have it. So if it gets in the way of me living my life, it gets overlooked. I need to stop that from happening. I have no idea how I’m going to keep my motivation up. But my next appointment is April (at some point, I need to find the letter – back to the whole planner concept!) and I’m determined to give that consultant the middle finger. I guess any motivation is good motivation, right? Success tends to drive me, I’ll go with that!
That’s my resolutions for the year – but I’d love to hear from some of you! What are your resolutions for 2016? :)